Tuesday, August 25, 2009
how do i say goodbye...oh with baking thats right
The ones we love the most always seem to be the ones who leave the deepest scars. I wanted to blog about this becasue i was so deeply hurt by a friend last week and it has left me baffled and paralyzed with sadness. Let me back track a few months back to july. I found out my friend ashley was going to have a baby and that she was so excited. Now her babys father, Matt, not so excited and very vocal about it. Well ashley finally saw matt for the douche he is and left him. Ashley is a very reclusive and introverted type of person but, her and i hit it off right away and when i heard what had happened i made it a point to be there for her. We started hanging out regularly and just talking about the future and all. Then the phone calls stopped and the texts never got answered. I was not too worried but finally i called her at work to see what the deal was. She was very rude and told me she had nothing to say and hung up. So i waited a few hours and texted to ask what the problem was and she said that she does not owe me any explanation and she can be the bitch now and to never contact her again. I was perplexed so i drove to her job to confront her and there in the front door of the cafe sat her boyfriend. i was SHOCKED....now let me back track and explain.. when she left him i told her some things that i knew and had kept from her because i did not want to be in the middle. Things that were oh so important, like he was a cocaine addict and i knew he had used when he told her he didn't. i also told her that he had asked me to find some for him. I am not sure what he has told her and since she refuses to talk to me i guess i will never know. I refuse to badger her becasue she is preg and i love her. So instead i just say a silent prayer for her to be safe and that maybe one day she will see the truth in her own eyes. What i am wondering is how to just walk from a friendship when i know that the friend is in the wrong place and that nothing good is going to come of it.
My fiancee said that i have to let it go and just let her live her life. I know this is true but its so hard to walk away without even having a reason. I guess this is her journey though and so to her i say GOOD LUCK and I LOVE YOU.
Now as the day wore on i got more and more depressed so i decided to do what i do best...thats right BAKE. I had some bananas that were oh so brown and yummy for baking so i went digging through some old books and found this great recipe from Williams and Sonoma kitchen collection Titled CAKES, CUPCAKES, AND CHEESECAKES. It was a gift from my sister and has all sorts of nifty little secrets and great cheesecake tips too. The one i decided to go with was banana chocolate chip. i tweeked the recipe to make it a little more my own of course and the results were fab! fab! fab! so here i present choconana cupcakes with maple cream cheese frosting and yes they were oh so good... the recipe called for less banana but i loved the flavor so much i am definitely keeping it at 5 insted of 3. so enjoy and talk at y all later Recipe for chconana cupcakes
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
3/4 cups sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/4 cups very ripe mashed bananas about 5 med sized
1/2 cup melted butter 1 stick unsalted
1 large egg room temp
1 egg white whipped stiff
3 tbsp buttermilk, now i used sour cream and i loved the texture but both will work
1/2 cup semi sweet chocolate chips..dusted with flour
preheat oven to 350 and line muffin tins with 14 paper liners. in bowl sift all dry ingredients and set aside. mix mashed bananas, butter, and sour cream just til blended. add to dry mix and whisk til just combined DO NOT OVER BEAT. stir i chips til just mixed and then fold in white of egg gently. fill muffin cups 2/3 full and bake for 20 minutes. take out of pan and cool on rack completely.
for frosting beat 1 stick semi room temp butter and 1 8oz. pkg semi room temp cream cheese til smooth...add 3 3/4 cups powdered sugar and 1/4 cup pure maple syrup..mix til creamy.. add 1/4 cup well chopped walnuts and stir in.. keep in fridge til ready to use.